Hello! Back on the planet now.
When I tried downloading the other photos from graduation, there was a problem with my card, so, here are some more good "Engrish" bits from my business trip to Yokohama this week. Hope they make you smile, too.

L and YOU

Spring is coming on you
***

Yea! I can no longer see my breath when I'm in my apartment! Cherry trees are beginning to bloom! Spring IS coming! and I'll let you interpret the "on you" part :)

Sorry, I have no idea what/who"L" is.

***

Please be carful to steps.

***

The kanji reads

Ashimoto ni, gochuui kudasai. Which, in the way I usually hear it, translates to Please watch your step. However, in this case, the sign was in a stepped, marble fountain (you can see the water at the base of the sign), yet I don't think you were supposed to 'step' in/on it. I also didn't see any cars anywhere, either.

***

I'm Cherry Boy

***

This cracks me up - I just wonder who the target audience is for this (what appears to be) underwear.
***

One of the things we discussed at the conference yesterday was the concept of International English. When I was living in the US, I never really thought about "other" Englishes, except for the occasional cool Brit or Aussie accent I heard in movies. However, since I've been here, I've been learning about this concept of there being an "inner circle" (UK, USA, Ireland, Australia, New Zealand), an "outer circle" (countries that are/were under the influence of UK/US control), and "expanding circle" (English has no official status in these countries, but is often used in business, academia, etc.). Think about all the dialects within the US and UK alone. A moment ago, one of the teachers asked me about the "correctness" of a particular expression that a student had used to answer a test question. While the grammar wasn't incorrect, I understood the meaning, and therefore answered that it wasn't a standard American English expression. I've always been intrigued by the study of languages, and this new concept of International English, along with all of its implications, is interesting to me.
Hope you're enjoying all the random acts of Engrish

from around here. :)

my lipstick now has a sheet

Right, so who knew that even my accessories

could have exciting lives in Japan?

Yesterday as I ran to the bus stop (for the record, I was actually early, I just felt like running!) my lipgloss fell out of my pocket. I realized it after I was on the bus, and saw it lying there dejectedly on the sidewalk as the bus passed the scene of the crime. Ah, well, I thought. It'll most likely be there when I get back in the afternoon.

Not so.

25 minutes later I got to school, and as I was getting my first pot of green tea, one of the teachers came over and halting asked

if I'd...if I'd...if I'd...lost....something. Lipstick?

WHAT?

People always warn not to do anything "illegal" here, since someone is always watching and knows who you are. Thank goodness it was only (legally acquired!) lipstick!

It turns out that someone had picked it up and turned it in to the police box across the street. Somehow they knew where I worked and the police called my school office to say they had the lipstick. The teacher called them back to say that yes, the lipstick was mine.

Great. I can just go there to pick it up on my way home.

No. Of course I can't, because, as they like to make things as complicated as possible here, my poor little lipstick had to be brought to the big police office 'to be processed' (how could I make this stuff up???). So after school, I went to the bus station (by the way, I'm on the bus because it's been raining, I'm sick & I need new bike brakes) to find out which bus to take to the police station. The ladies in the bus office know me now, since I often come to visit the station "boss" because he likes to practice his English with me. WELL. Instead of just telling me which bus to take, he drives me to the police station so I can spring my poor little lipstick. I'm not telling lies when I had to give a full description of the lipstick and fill out a whole report about my lost lipstick (technically lipgloss) - the picture here is of the officer inputting my report.

FINALLY, I was able to take my lipstick, and the bus station boss man drove me home. At least he got a good laugh out of it, too.

I should probably make him some cookies.

So, stating the obvious, here, sometimes things get lost in the translation.  Case in point: my being sick in Japan and my colleagues' reactions.  (I've had really strange sicknesses here, and the latest has been hanging around for the better part of a month now...yes, I finally went to the doctor...not to worry - got meds...I just won't be operating heavy machinery while I'm on these drugs) Anyway, today one of the English teachers asked me (knowing that I just started the medicine yesterday afternoon), "Are you better?"  Hmmm...let's see - well, LOOK at me - do I LOOK all better?  I'm frequently asked - within a really quick turn around time, if I've gotten better.  I mean I'm trying to get better as quickly as I can (seriously - I've been walking around feeling like I've just run a mile drunk), but not there yet.  Then I realized - they're not trying to be rude - it's just that the Japanese expression of concern,  as it's directly translated into English,  seems a little impatient.  When I asked my trusted Japanese friend about my theory - that when people ask "Are you better?"  they really mean "Are you feeling any better? (not 100% yet, but is there any improvement?)"  She said, smiling "So so  so" - meaning yeah yeah yeah!  Whew.  I need a nap.