Monday, March 24, 2008

adjusting the volume

One of the reasons I came to Japan was to get away from the NOISE...the general gossip, the ugliness and insensitivity in people's tones, the general harshness I often heard (not necessarily directed towards me) at my previous school, the intrusive sex/drugs/violence in the music, the constant barrage of ads incessantly trying to seduce me to buy this or that.
I just wanted a break.
I wanted quiet... maybe I could...
I've had a lot to deal with this past year and a half with losing Mom, and feeling like I've lost home.
And here I have the peace and quiet to sort this all out. Maybe I can also find this in the States again, but for now, even though life is often very difficult on account of the language and cultural barriers, for now, it's had a kind of calming effect.

I sometimes scream and wail
(mostly on the inside - but doesn't that just echo even louder?
don't those reverberations from the inside out only serve to shatter me more severely?)
the SILENCE - the mind-numbing-defeaning SILENCE of this place stands in stolid defiance, completely unaffected by me.

It mocks me.

it is just patiently waiting

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Awesome post, Trace. Makes me really think about the noise AND the silence in my own life. I believe the silence does patiently wait for us all. And more often than not, it's in the silence where we find peace.

Love from Skip and me to you...